Corinne Cohen

Corrine Cohen (friend from Elizabeth)

Memories about Nathan Laks

I actually have some time now so I'm sending some memories of our time together and how incredibly special Nathan was to me...

I reached out to someone who offers different chessed opportunities in our community in about 2010. The person told me Eva Laks needed visitors. It turned out Eva was already struggling to recognize people and had become very withdrawn by this time. It was unfortunately the beginning of what would become severe dementia. She was in her own world most of the time. 

Nathan told me to please call him Nathan and referred to his wife as Eva, so that's how I've always addressed them. Whenever I said I think it's best I call him Mr Laks.  He insisted, no, he wants me to call him Nathan.  He was so incredibly modest.  He didn't require honor of any kind from anyone.  He didn't see himself as being better than anyone although he was absolutely exceptional in so many ways. Whenever I told him how incredible he was, how much I admired him, how much I learned from him, he would insist he admired me!  He was always building me up, making me feel special. I cherished the time we shared.  He was so easy to talk to. So easy to be around. He knew everything about the world, politics, the history of different countries.  He knew things about the small town I was born in Bulowayo, Zimbabwe (it was Rhodesia when I was born) that I didn't know.  He knew so much about South Africa, the country where I grew up.  He was incredible to his wife Eva.  She struggled so badly with dementia. Nathan was always incredibly patient and kind towards her. He did everything he possibly could to make her as happy and comfortable as possible. 

Nathan truly followed in Avraham Avinu’s footsteps by treating everyone with the utmost respect and kindness from the person who came to clean his home, his late wife’s caregivers, the social workers and musicians who visited him and his late wife to the doctors and Rabeim. He did not pay attention to anyone’s social standing, bank balance, intelligence or skin color.  He was good and kind to everyone and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. He only had good things to say about everyone. I don’t ever remember a complaint or a bad word coming out of his mouth. Only words that brought positivity and kindness into our world.

He had incredible energy and was so independent. He was able to live alone and take complete care of himself at an age when most people need a lot of help.  Only when his health deteriorated, did he move in with his son and daughter in law who were always truly incredible to him. They were and are wonderful to me when I got in touch, called or visited. Nathan never complained.  He cared so much about everyone around him.  He was completely aware of everything going on around him and in the lives of every person he knew.  He only met 3 of my 7 children but remembered all of them, their names, ages, what they studied in college, where they lived, if they were married or not, if they had children. He met and knew my mom in law and my parents. He always remembered and asked about my trips to South Africa or their trips to the states. He knew when we went away on vacation, where we went, what we did.  He would ask how long until wew leave, wish us a good trip, and when we returned, ask how it was. 

He paid attention to every detail and cared about and remembered the very small things most people half his age do not recall. 

He didn’t talk much about his time in the Nazi concentration camps but one of the most powerful lessons I learned from Nathan was when I was talking about a terrible story on the News.  I said I could never survive that.  He said don’t ever say that.  You never know what you can survive until you’re in the situation. I often quote him and think about what he said. It has always been a very powerful message for me. 

He was always incredibly careful to observe every mitzvah correctly and completely. He never made me feel inferior although he was definitely way more careful about how he behaved, living a Torah life and actualizing his potential.  He considered himself so ordinary and yet he was truly one of the most impressive, incredible, inspirational human beings I’ve ever had the privilege to meet.  I am so grateful to Hashem for the friendship we shared for 14 years. I feel his loss intensely.  The world is not the same without him but I cherish every precious moment we shared and I truly believe his neshoma will rise to the highest place in Shamayim and rest there.  I also believe he will watch us all and shep nachus from all the mitzvos his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren perform as well as all his friends. Every person who was lucky enough to meet him was affected in a very positive way and will be blessed by their experience forever. 

Notes: He knew who the last white Prime minister was, Ian Smith. Who the active present was,Robert Magabe. We have not discussed Zimbabwe politics since 2017 when Mnangagwe took over.